Ouch

I know i done something very bad.
I try to apologize but seem she is ignoring me.
When i see that picture. It remind me of my grandpa.
So i lost my rational thinking because of miss him.

When he leaving me, i am the only family member who cannot
send him go away because i am far far away from home.
I think i am useless on this point. I still clearly remember
what this old man try to tell me before i went oversea to study.
He said " study hard and don't worry "
I never understand so much about those meaning
until he was not here anymore then i know what
those really mean. He want me to fight for my future.
The " don't worry " mean he believe and putting trust in me
that i can solve and deal with problem in the future with my wisdom
and knowledge. It is also mean something else. I knew that....
When i am sad. I can only hide it in deep deep heart. No one will never know
I always cover it up with a smiling face then no one will not know it.

I know i did something wrong last night. I should not told her what i am thinking.
Which make her miss her grandma and sad..
I feel very bad and i guess she not gonna talk to me anymore.
I should never said that out to her..
I will remember those precious Golden message from the old man live
happily in the heaven until i die. I have grow old enough to understand them.
I need to be strong to accept fact that everyone will leave us one day.
When i am young. In primary school, keep saw my friends they wear something on their shoulder that their grandparent was....
I always scare this day will come and i cannot accept the fact.
I able to carry up responsibility and put down them.
Now the view is totally different. I still have grandma and grandpa and grandmother.
Gonna love them so much while they still here.

Sorry Claire for last night, hope you don't hate me
I hope i can do something for you to make u feel better.
Scold me or anything i also don't mind if can make u feel better.
If ignore me will make me feel bad.. later exam again.. sigh..